Well friends, I wish I had better news to share, but I don't. The PET scan showed 'marked progression' of the cancer throughout my abdominal area. There are also new tumors surrounding the liver, stomach, and kidney. There is a thickening in the omentum (this is a layer of tissue that covers the abdominal cavity), which they say is probably diseased.
This does not come as a surprise to me, considering how I've been feeling. The difficulty in eating comes from what the doctor believes is the cancer pushing on my intestines and not from any significant blockage at this point. I am only able to drink liquids in small, frequent quantities. It's not that I don't have an appetite. I am very, very hungry and want to eat. But when I try to eat something solid, I pay dearly for it later in the day. I'm just not digesting well at all.
Doctor Neville said we could go back to the regime I was on last year (neuropathy, cold sensitivity) but he thought that would only have a 15-20% chance of helping. So, not a viable option for me. He said should I not do further treatment that we should call hospice as I have probably only a matter of months. We are meeting with a hospice nurse today.
I don't know what else to say. This all speaks for itself. I figured the hardest part would be controlling the pain. I never thought that I'd have to stop eating too, at least not at this point when I can still enjoy it. This is a real disappointment to me and I am struggling in accepting this aspect. I will be working with my brother-in-law who is a naturopath doctor in terms of getting the nutrition I need into my system. But there's nothing like biting into a nice steak or eating sushi (my personal favorite).
So friends, we obviously need prayers. I'm not sure how this will progress. At this point it's pain control and nutrition.
Everyone, everyone, has been incredibly gracious and generous to us. Your love has brought us to tears many times, the light of God showing through your loving acts of kindness. God has assured me that my family will get through this, still my deepest sadness comes from leaving my dear ones behind. My young but sometimes surprisingly wise 18 year old son Daniel stood at my side the other day and said, "mom, it's ok. These temporary times of sadness lead to eternal happiness." Blew me away.
Please continue in your prayers for peace and acceptance, come what may.
I love you all