Tuesday, April 22, 2008

April 22

Well friends, I wish I had better news to share, but I don't. The PET scan showed 'marked progression' of the cancer throughout my abdominal area. There are also new tumors surrounding the liver, stomach, and kidney. There is a thickening in the omentum (this is a layer of tissue that covers the abdominal cavity), which they say is probably diseased.

This does not come as a surprise to me, considering how I've been feeling. The difficulty in eating comes from what the doctor believes is the cancer pushing on my intestines and not from any significant blockage at this point. I am only able to drink liquids in small, frequent quantities. It's not that I don't have an appetite. I am very, very hungry and want to eat. But when I try to eat something solid, I pay dearly for it later in the day. I'm just not digesting well at all.

Doctor Neville said we could go back to the regime I was on last year (neuropathy, cold sensitivity) but he thought that would only have a 15-20% chance of helping. So, not a viable option for me. He said should I not do further treatment that we should call hospice as I have probably only a matter of months. We are meeting with a hospice nurse today.

I don't know what else to say. This all speaks for itself. I figured the hardest part would be controlling the pain. I never thought that I'd have to stop eating too, at least not at this point when I can still enjoy it. This is a real disappointment to me and I am struggling in accepting this aspect. I will be working with my brother-in-law who is a naturopath doctor in terms of getting the nutrition I need into my system. But there's nothing like biting into a nice steak or eating sushi (my personal favorite).

So friends, we obviously need prayers. I'm not sure how this will progress. At this point it's pain control and nutrition.

Everyone, everyone, has been incredibly gracious and generous to us. Your love has brought us to tears many times, the light of God showing through your loving acts of kindness. God has assured me that my family will get through this, still my deepest sadness comes from leaving my dear ones behind. My young but sometimes surprisingly wise 18 year old son Daniel stood at my side the other day and said, "mom, it's ok. These temporary times of sadness lead to eternal happiness." Blew me away.

Please continue in your prayers for peace and acceptance, come what may.

I love you all
Jane

12 comments:

Mel Glubrecht said...

Love you Jane.

Anonymous said...

because of my fibromyalgia, there are many things I can't do, but I CAN pray and lift you up to our Heavenly Father. Living (on this earth) is so hard sometimes. I hope and pray that His grace is sufficient for you, and your family in the weeks and months to come. I've heard someone say they would eat something they craved,
but then spit it out, rather than swallow. could that work for you?
With love,
Vicki Mills

rosepua said...

Loving you and your family... MA

Anonymous said...

Oh Jane, my love goes out to you four. You have been so honest with all of us through this process and let us see your questions and your heart.
Karen B.

Anonymous said...

Jane,

I Dearly Love You My Friend.

Nan

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Jane, and praying for peace and comfort for your entire family. God Bless You!
Cindy K

Anonymous said...

Jane,
I am so sad to hear this very disappointing news. I am aching with you! You are stronger and wiser than you give yourself credit for. I will continue to pray for you Jane.
hugs,
Laura

Anonymous said...

Jane,

We marvel at your grace and courage, and we pray with all our might for your comfort and peace, that you may live every day to its fullest!

Love, Eric and Lisa Nielsen

Anonymous said...

Dear Jane:
You and your family continue in faith and strength. Please remember you are still alive, and you must live each day to the fullest within your capacity. I pray for you, Doug, and your family every day. Love and Prayers, Regina

Anonymous said...

Praying for you! Love and miss you tons!
Sheena

Anonymous said...

Dear Jane:
I just want to tell you that I have a great deal of respect and love for you and your family. I have never known people like you before, and if there were more people like you and your family, the world would be another Eden. I am here for you and yours. Love and Prayers, Regina

Anonymous said...

Jane,
Whenever I think of you, I'm reminded of the many softball games we played together.

Your steadfast perserverence was amazing to me as you pitched inning after inning under that hot, uncomfortable sun. You always fought the good fight no matter how bad we were losing. I really enjoyed being on your team.

May you feel God's strength during this challenging time.

Love, Donna McD