Tuesday, May 8, 2007

May 8

This last treatment was perhaps the most difficult in terms of side effects. The worst part is these sinus headaches I've been getting (I think it's because of the Avastin, blood vessel growth inhibitor), as I already had some trouble with my sinuses. I'm hoping as side effects subside, the headaches will go with them. Despite these, Doug and I went for a pretty long ride yesterday. I was pooped out when we got home, but glad we went. Today, I feel like I'm starting to 'come around' a bit and hope I am on the upswing.

Prayer request: We are waiting to hear if Doug is selected to the nursing program. We should be getting a letter any day now. Please pray he gets accepted. Also for resources for the next 2 to 3 years as he studies and works full-time. I will also need to work full-time as well. This is ONLY going to be made possible by the grace of God! But, He can handle it!

Before I was diagnosed, I remarked a few times that if we 'made it through the next two years, we could make it through anything' (meaning Doug in school full-time, raising and providing for our two teens, finances, etc.). Little did I know what was coming down the pike!

But, I am excited to see how God will work. When things get just waaay too big (why do we so often wait until then to surrender?) well, this is when He can really be allowed to come forth and work remarkably in our lives. I can't wait until life becomes peaceful to feel that things will be allright, particularly in the long-run. I need to find that 'place' in the midst of the torrent. Life and it's demands are not going to stop just because I am ill. Still, it is crucial that I carve out times in the midst when I can stop, rest, meditate, enjoy life. And I believe I am learning how to do that. And strangely, there's a peace in me that I can't explain, except in that perhaps I am learning more and more how to surrender and trust (not in any way to be mistaken with giving up and living in denial). We still have our part, but in this, I feel like mine is very small comparatively.

Does true success mean we conquer sickness and trials, or is it truly that we conquer the despair and hopelessness that can so easily accompany it? Does the outcome depend on me or God? Or are we in this together as a team? There's much to say about teamwork!

Blessings to you this week,


Anonymous said...


I'm continuing to pray for your healing and will add prayers that you can enjoy peace and contentment in all you do. On the worldly side, there's a product out called Head On Sinus ("I hate your commercial but I love your product!"). It's a homeopathic thing you apply directly to your forehead/sinuses. It really works and it should be safe to use with your treatments. Check with your doctor, maybe it will bring you some relief. I hope so!

Thinking of and praying for you!
Cindy Killip

rosepua said...

You know how much I believe in teamwork. So, anything needed that I can help with (walks, talks, biking, etc.), please give a jingle. I'm praying... love, MA