Saturday, November 10, 2007

November 10

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Serenity Prayer

Hi to all,
Well, it's been a while. I had a great October. My sister-in-laws were kind enough to treat me to a 4 day cruise to British Columbia! We had a great time. The highlight for me was whale watching and saw many orcas, even some dolphins! Doug and I had some great motorcycle rides too, but haven't been out for a few weeks now.

As life has it's many demands on us, I am finding it's taking pretty much all my energy to just get to work and keep up with the house. With Doug as a full-time student now, I am currently the main breadwinner in the family, which is stressing me. The better I was feeling, the more I was working. Things were going OK but then I started feeling not too tip top these past few weeks. I realized that I was pushing myself again. I came home from work this week with rather severe stomach pains. The doc thinks it's acid reflux or something like that, and is treating it as such, but I was unable to work for the rest of the week, and that stressed me out again!

I requested an early PET scan (were going to do one in December). So I had one yesterday (Friday) and should know the results by mid-week. My blood tests still look good. The CEA level went up some (2.5 - it was 1.9) but is still in the normal range. The doc said it can fluctuate alot at these low levels.

Doug and I both realize that I am still in a healing process, and the future of my health is too uncertain at this time to bank on my being able to work enough to 'make the rent' and carry the health insurance. We are reevaluating the practicality of him staying in the nursing program versus him quitting the program and getting a job, or deciding if we can survive on him having a part time job and stay in school. I really don't want him to quit, he's come so far. And the Trade Act is paying for his schooling. Should he decide to return to nursing school at a later time, we'd have to cover the costs ourselves. The other key will be if he can find a job that pays well enough to cover what I can't, and one that will allow him to stay in this area. In all honesty, we have both been depressed and confused.

God has provided thus far through many generous friends and family members. But the question of what the 'right' thing to do is still rolls around our heads. And I wonder if we're not trusting enough or if indeed, we are being led in another direction and need to go that way for a time.

I want to trust that when it's time to make that decision, we'll have more direction.

We would sure appreciate your prayers as we travel through this phase. I will let you know next week what the scan shows.



Anonymous said...

The most important thing is your health! Take care of that and trust that the rest will fall into place. Worrying about it will get you nowhere except sick and tired (I'm speaking from experience here!).

May God Bless you guys!
Cindy K.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jane:
You are still in the healing process, and you have to listen to your body, and when you are tired, do not push yourself, you must rest, eat right, and be good to yourself. Things will work out for the best. God is always there showing us the way. Take care. Love and Prayers, Regina

rosepua said...

Wow! Tough stuff. We're praying. Thanks for sharing so openly. Love, MA