August 21

I am gradually recovering from chemo. I have a good amount of energy back, but I do notice that I 'hit a wall' when I've done too much, and need to watch for that. The neuropathy in my fingers and toes is changing a bit, as it's actually a little more painful, but the ND doc says this is not necessarily bad, unless of course if it gets worse. My nerve endings are in the repairing process, and this sometimes brings different sensations. I'm eating well (most of the time!) and trying to keep up on the supplements. My mouth is better and I am gaining back taste buds. I even think I'm getting a few eyebrows back. Although I know these peripheral side effects aren't life changing, it's just nice to see some sense of normalcy. The body is an amazing thing, always working hard to repair itself. We truly are 'wonderfully made'.

I'm back working, not quite full time, but up to about 27 hours last week. It's good to be busy, although it's kind of hard spending my 'good time' at work when I'd rather be taking advantage of what's left of the summer! (who wouldn't?) But, life marches on regardless of our situations. Bills need to be paid!!

That's not to say I'm not sneaking in some fun time. We had a good ride last Saturday to the coast. It felt good to be riding again. And, we have a new addition to the family: a puppy! Amy has been wanting one for some time now. After much searching, we finally settled on one. Her name is Hazel, she's an 8 week old boxer. So far, she seems to be a very calm doggie, even for a puppy. She's pretty much Amy's dog, at least for now. I'm taking a low profile on this one! Amy just loves her!!

So, next blood check is Sept. 3. Kind of nervous but also feeling that I'm resting in God's hands. This cancer thing is so huge, that one has to lay their hope in something much larger, no matter what may come down the pike. There's a point of surrender, not to be confused with giving up, but it's the best way to walk through life in general, I'm finding out after 52 years!

Anyway, hope you all have a nice rest of the summer. I'll keep you posted.
Jane

August 6

We saw Dr. Neville last Friday and he agrees it's time for a break. Yahoo! After two weeks, I'm still feeling tired from last treatment. I can't even imagine... today I would have gone in for another. The mouth sores are almost gone, so at least I can eat better. I lost 5 pounds just last week from not being able to eat very well. I'm sure it won't be a problem to put those pounds right back on though! The neuropathy is still here, and he said it could take up to a year for some of these side effects to go away. Powerful drugs, this chemo stuff.

The plan now is to have my blood CEA level checked once a month, see Dr. Neville in 2 months, and have a scan in 3 months. My CEA level is still at 2.3 (3.0 and below is normal), so he is pleased with this. (Did you know that everyone has a CEA level? Even healthy people? I thought that was interesting). After looking at the scans they did in Seattle, he considers the spots on my lungs and liver to be 'in remission', although it's still not clear to them exactly what those spots are/were???

So, for the time being, I'll work on getting my energy level back up, my tastebuds back, and feeling back to normal in my hands and feet. Hopefully I'll be able to be off chemo long enough to get some hair back too! It would be nice to feel and look 'normal' for a while and enjoy life.

All this is so much in God's hands. I'm just trodding along this pathway, trying not to bargain too much with him, (let me see my kids graduate, let me see them married, let me see my grandchildren, etc...) but to listen to him, stay connected to him, trust him. This is all I can do with an uncertain future. But then again, aren't all our futures somewhat uncertain? Heaven knows, you could be driving happily along on a bridge, and the next moment, it's crumbling beneath you. Is there any rhyme or reason? That is the question, isn't it?

Enough philosophising. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer. I will stay in touch.

Jane

August 1

Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.
- -- Spurgeon


We saw the ND on Monday and was encouraged. It's amazing how much more time they take with you than the MD's. Two hours of talking and putting a plan together to help build my immune system back up. He's starting slow (thankfully we're weren't innundated with a bunch of stuff) and for now it's mainly dietary stuff and a few supplements to help rebuild. To hold me accountable, we agreed that I would email him once a week with what I'm eating day to day and if I'm taking the supplements! This is what I need! I'll write more on that and him later.

I am beginning to feel better as the days pass, and as soon as the sores in my mouth are gone that will make a big difference. It's amazing how a few little sores can affect the whole body!

Thanks again for your prayers of support and I'll let you know what Dr. Neville says on Friday.

Jane