July 2

Ok, drum roll please....

I've definately decided NOT to have the surgery at this time. I can still be a candidate at a later date should the disease not progress outside the abdominal cavity. So, surgery went to the end of my 'options list' for now.

I'm thinking I'll do treatment #9 next week then take a break, or at least ask the doc if I can spread them out a little more (at the suggestion of a friend). The side effects are definately building up.

I'm researching nutrition (serious nutrition!), cleansing, etc. and reading some interesting cases of those who have benefitted from a stringent regime. This will be my next challenge! To be diligent about what I'm putting into my system, detoxifying, taking this very serious. Please pray that I will muster up the energy and determination to follow through. And if you know anything about this, I'd love to hear from you.

Other requests for this week:
- Doug and Amy are taking a motorcycle trip to Christmas Valley tomorrow and Wednesday. They need the time away, but I'm trying not to be anxious! Please pray they have quality time together and for safety, and for me to not worry.

- Amy is very concerned about me (projecting too far into the possible future) and is going through a very confusing time right now with other things as well (lots of tears lately). Please pray for her peace of mind and that she can sort through her feelings. I have to say that my daughter is the most precious thing on this earth to me. I want to tell her that everything is going to be ok, but who can say? I try to stay hopeful in our conversations, but it's hard for anyone, let alone a 15 year old, to live with this type of uncertainty.

This whole disease is such a strange, surreal process. With this first course of treatments coming to an end, I'm stepping once again into unknown territory and frankly, the reality is sometimes overwhelming. There are so many emotions that I too, am sorting through, to find amidst the clutter, the place of peace, rest, and faith. I know it will come, I get glimpses of it, but what a roller coaster ride this is. God's word comforts:

"Immanuel, if I could go into space, you would be there with me. If I could go to the bottom of the ocean, you would be there with me. No matter where I am, I cannot be out of your presence. No matter where I go, your hand will guide me and hold me tight." Psalm 139:7-19

With all that said.... Happy 4th!! Go Celebrate!!