June 7

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

We finally heard from Seattle Monday around 1:00pm. He wanted to see us. So we high-tailed it up there, spent the night and went to our 11:15am appointment. What was supposed to take 45 minutes, took about 4 hours.

After he reviewed the scans done here in Corvallis, he said they weren't clear enough. So, he had me do a CT Scan there. (got to drink two bottles of gross stuff, IV, etc...)

He said he would email us yesterday with the results.... but he got called into surgery Monday afternoon and was still there as of yesterday afternoon. As of this morning, still no word.

He will only do the surgery if he does not see the cancer anywhere else but in the abdominal cavity. Since I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he recommends doing it even if he can't see any cancer in that area. He said this will 'never go completely away'.

The surgery takes at least 6 hours, 3 hours of which I lay on the table while they flush heated chemotherapy through the peritonium (sp?) cavity. The incision will be big, about 11 inches, stem to stern. During surgery, he would remove any organs, or parts of them, that he thought needed to be removed (i.e. colon, stomach, pancreas, etc.) I'd sign a waiver going into the surgery, not knowing what I'm going to come out with (or without, as the case might be). Oh goody. I'd spend two weeks in the hospital up there, then 4 to 6 more recovering at home.

In a third of patients who have this, this doubles the life expectancy to 5 years. Of course, there are always the two ends of the spectrum. Those who don't make it, and those who live beyond 5 years. I have to say, after describing all the facts and data to me, I left there very depressed and discouraged. Not the encouragement I hoped to hear.

Now, as I wait and consider the 'facts', I am working to rally my spirits back up. I won't get into it here how these stages of news has me on an emotional roller coaster. As much as I tell myself to trust God and not think too far ahead, next thing you know, I'm on the coaster again.

Waiting to hear from doctors. Waiting to hear from God.

I'd appreciate prayers for clarity for all involved (me, my family, and the doctors). There are still question marks in my mind that I guess will only be answered in time, as I go through this process step by step.

I will let you know what's decided... as soon as we know.

Thanks again. I am blessed to have so many kind-hearted friends as you.
Jane