September 6

Quote of the day:

The one resolution, which was in my mind long before it took the form of a resolution, is the key-note of my life. It is this, always to regard as mere impertinences of fate the handicaps which were placed upon my life almost at the beginning. I resolved that they should not crush or dwarf my soul, but rather be made to blossom, like Aaron's rod, with flowers.
- Helen Keller


Dear friends,

Well, after waiting for a few days for the doctor to call, I decided to call about my test results and got the nurse to look them up on the computer (doc was out of the office today). To my surprise, the CEA level is down 3/10 of a point! (anything lower I'll take!!). So, it is currently at 2.0 from 2.3 six weeks ago. This was exceptionally good news to me, as my mind was starting to wander into the gloomy zone. I'm a bit anemic, but the nurse said for an oncology patient my blood levels are 'stellar'. So, wow, what more could I ask for this day? Now I can rest easier this weekend!

I know that I will make it through this season of life only by God's grace. Life is not slowing down in the Easton home, or anywhere else, for that matter. In fact, with Doug and Daniel starting LBCC on the 24th and Doug also working weekends soon, Amy, now a Sophomore at CV, and me back working (nearly 30 hours a week)... well, what more can I say? Yes, lots of grace!!

Please pray with me that I spend my days learning more and more how to focus only on what's truly important, and let all the other inconsequential activities and busyness fall away; and to spend the best of my energies on the things of eternal value (where neither dust nor moth destroys - Matt. 6:20).

Thanks once again to all for your many prayers and thoughts. I do believe they make the difference! I will continue to keep you posted. I'll try to get some motorcycle pics on here soon too!

Jane

August 21

I am gradually recovering from chemo. I have a good amount of energy back, but I do notice that I 'hit a wall' when I've done too much, and need to watch for that. The neuropathy in my fingers and toes is changing a bit, as it's actually a little more painful, but the ND doc says this is not necessarily bad, unless of course if it gets worse. My nerve endings are in the repairing process, and this sometimes brings different sensations. I'm eating well (most of the time!) and trying to keep up on the supplements. My mouth is better and I am gaining back taste buds. I even think I'm getting a few eyebrows back. Although I know these peripheral side effects aren't life changing, it's just nice to see some sense of normalcy. The body is an amazing thing, always working hard to repair itself. We truly are 'wonderfully made'.

I'm back working, not quite full time, but up to about 27 hours last week. It's good to be busy, although it's kind of hard spending my 'good time' at work when I'd rather be taking advantage of what's left of the summer! (who wouldn't?) But, life marches on regardless of our situations. Bills need to be paid!!

That's not to say I'm not sneaking in some fun time. We had a good ride last Saturday to the coast. It felt good to be riding again. And, we have a new addition to the family: a puppy! Amy has been wanting one for some time now. After much searching, we finally settled on one. Her name is Hazel, she's an 8 week old boxer. So far, she seems to be a very calm doggie, even for a puppy. She's pretty much Amy's dog, at least for now. I'm taking a low profile on this one! Amy just loves her!!

So, next blood check is Sept. 3. Kind of nervous but also feeling that I'm resting in God's hands. This cancer thing is so huge, that one has to lay their hope in something much larger, no matter what may come down the pike. There's a point of surrender, not to be confused with giving up, but it's the best way to walk through life in general, I'm finding out after 52 years!

Anyway, hope you all have a nice rest of the summer. I'll keep you posted.
Jane

August 6

We saw Dr. Neville last Friday and he agrees it's time for a break. Yahoo! After two weeks, I'm still feeling tired from last treatment. I can't even imagine... today I would have gone in for another. The mouth sores are almost gone, so at least I can eat better. I lost 5 pounds just last week from not being able to eat very well. I'm sure it won't be a problem to put those pounds right back on though! The neuropathy is still here, and he said it could take up to a year for some of these side effects to go away. Powerful drugs, this chemo stuff.

The plan now is to have my blood CEA level checked once a month, see Dr. Neville in 2 months, and have a scan in 3 months. My CEA level is still at 2.3 (3.0 and below is normal), so he is pleased with this. (Did you know that everyone has a CEA level? Even healthy people? I thought that was interesting). After looking at the scans they did in Seattle, he considers the spots on my lungs and liver to be 'in remission', although it's still not clear to them exactly what those spots are/were???

So, for the time being, I'll work on getting my energy level back up, my tastebuds back, and feeling back to normal in my hands and feet. Hopefully I'll be able to be off chemo long enough to get some hair back too! It would be nice to feel and look 'normal' for a while and enjoy life.

All this is so much in God's hands. I'm just trodding along this pathway, trying not to bargain too much with him, (let me see my kids graduate, let me see them married, let me see my grandchildren, etc...) but to listen to him, stay connected to him, trust him. This is all I can do with an uncertain future. But then again, aren't all our futures somewhat uncertain? Heaven knows, you could be driving happily along on a bridge, and the next moment, it's crumbling beneath you. Is there any rhyme or reason? That is the question, isn't it?

Enough philosophising. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer. I will stay in touch.

Jane

August 1

Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.
- -- Spurgeon


We saw the ND on Monday and was encouraged. It's amazing how much more time they take with you than the MD's. Two hours of talking and putting a plan together to help build my immune system back up. He's starting slow (thankfully we're weren't innundated with a bunch of stuff) and for now it's mainly dietary stuff and a few supplements to help rebuild. To hold me accountable, we agreed that I would email him once a week with what I'm eating day to day and if I'm taking the supplements! This is what I need! I'll write more on that and him later.

I am beginning to feel better as the days pass, and as soon as the sores in my mouth are gone that will make a big difference. It's amazing how a few little sores can affect the whole body!

Thanks again for your prayers of support and I'll let you know what Dr. Neville says on Friday.

Jane

July 27

These last couple of days are a blur. Treatment #10 is as far as I go for now. My blood pressure shot up past 200 during this last treatment so we had to stop one of the drugs. I went on to have the other three, but boy oh boy, am I feeling it. I've slept alot since Monday. Stomach stuff, fever, etc. I will see Dr. Neville next Friday to discuss taking a break and what the plan during that will be. He's in favor of the break, so I feel good about that. My 'tumor marker' (blood CEA level) is still at 2.3 which is good.

In the meantime, I will be seeing a natureopathic doc (Dr. Weizer) through the Providence Cancer Center in Portland on Monday. He himself is a cancer survivor. He mainly treats cancer patients, particularly with supplements and nutrition, so I look forward to building my body back up and feeling good again, for, Lord willing, as long as I can. Hopefully, as I build up my immune system, my body will have a better chance of fighting. Should I need more chemo down the road, my body will at least be stronger to handle the side effects.

The one thing I like about this ND is that he works with a team and there is also an MD on staff, so they seem really balanced. Plus his fees are half of what I was going to pay down in Ashland, so this is more do-able for us. Dr. Neville was surprisingly OK with this and is interested in what Dr. Weizer recommends for me.

Friends and family, don't fear. I will track closely with Dr. Neville through this whole process. He will check me regularly (not sure how often yet), and I certainly have not closed the door to more chemotherapy or even more surgery should I need it in the future. But for now, I really, really need a break.

Fall plans: Doug will proceed with nursing school come September. Daniel is going into the welding program at LBCC (pray he gets a grant!). Amy will start her Sophomore year at CV, I will keep working as much as possible. And we'll keep praying for God's will and sustenance through this all.

Please continue your prayers for peace in our home and hearts. Every step in this process brings questions and what ifs. Pray we keep our focus and not be derailed by the uncertainties, and live each day to it's fullest.

Thanks again for your caring support,
Jane

July 14

Finished up treatment Tuesday. It went better than the day before. They monitored me closely at first. No glitches this time.

I am definately feeling more of the side effects, and have also been rather depressed these last few days. I think it's due in part to the steroids they give me along with treatment. Also, I am so impatient because I want to be out doing things and have such low energy right now. My blood levels have started to change a bit (chemo reaction) so should I go for the next 3 treatments I can only imagine what I might be feeling like by the last one (ugg). I just don't know if I'll be able to psyche myself up enough to finish all 12 cycles. If you asked me today, I'd say no way.

But, this is not a day to make decisions.

Please pray for me to know when to say 'enough' or if I should go the full 12 cycles. Of course, it will depend on how I'm reacting, too. I don't want to wimp out on treatment, but I also don't want to break my system down. I keep telling myself it's only 6 more weeks.

As I finish up chemo, I will need determination to eat well and do the things that are going to help me stay healthy. Please pray also that I am led to the people who can help me get on track and suggest the things I'll need for my particular health needs.

Thanks to all, hope you are having a good weekend.
Jane

July 9

Things have settled somewhat this week, thankfully. Amy started blueberry picking today and I think this will serve as a good distraction for her (though understandably she's complaining that it's hard work, little pay).

I went to have treatment #9 today and ran into a snag. They are not completely sure why but right after drug #2 started, I got very dizzy, sweaty, my blood pressure dropped to 70. The nurses are really on top of things, I have to say. About 4 of them came in the room. They stopped the drugs, hooked up saline, layed me flat, gave me oxygen, kept checking my BP, and gradually it came back up. I was having some intestinal pain and they said it could have been due to a nerve that's attached to your intestines. If there's a problem, your BP drops. Anyhow, it was scary but thankfully it passed without too much complication.

So, we called it a day, but I go back tomorrow and see if I can finish the treatment. I'm sure they'll be watching me closely at first.

Anyhow, I had a terrific motorcycle ride on July 4 with Melinda (went to Independence, saw the preparations for their big 4th celebration, then headed through Kings Valley and on home. Then on Sat. I went by myself to the coast via Hy20, stopped at Ona Beach for a bit, then headed home through Waldport up Hy34. It was a great ride, and I was pooped when I got home.

I think I try to pack too much into my 'good days' but it's so hard when the weather is nice and I know I have only a few days in which to do stuff. It's doubtful that I'll be able to make it to family camp this weekend (I'll miss seeing the 'family').

I hope you all are fending well in this warm weather and that you are having a great week.

Thanks for all your prayers. God is leading and guiding, even amidst making some pretty tough decisions. I do so cherish your support! Please pray I get through this treatment tomorrow successfully.

Jane