January 20

Just a real quick one. On my birthday, the insurance company phoned me. They said there had been a discrepancy in policies (work hours) between two of the insurance offices, or something like that, and that they did indeed approve my disability claim! I told the woman on the phone that it was my birthday and this was a fantastic birthday present! So, thanks to Fred at church for pursuing this for me.

I came down with a cold on my birthday too. Oh well, ain't that life? Anyhow, this may affect my ability to get treatment on Wednesday. Please pray I get over this cold enough to get treatment.

I haven't heard anything yet as far as the scan. I will know something for sure on Tuesday, possibly tomorrow. I will let you know.

Enjoy football games today!
Jane

January 15

"Your surrounding friends will take good care of you."
- fortune cookie


Hi all,

I had treatment #5 last Wednesday and just today feel like I'm semi-normal. This one took more wind out of my sails. My bloodwork CEA level climbed to 17 a couple of weeks ago. Dr. Neville thought he would have seen it go down by now (although last week it went down 1 point, for what that's worth). Since there hasn't been a significant change in the CEA he wants to do the PET scan this Friday (Jan 18), to "see what's going on." This is fine by me.

Again, the prayer at this time is that I'll be able to have the IPHC surgery. (Not that I'm eager to be operated on stem to stern, but as I've been saying, "drastic times call for drastic measures.") This will perhaps increase my odds of a longer survival. Dr. Neville also mentioned possible clinical trials with a couple of biologic drugs they are testing at this time, and that also he would contact some docs up at OHSU who are "interested in these types of problems." I responded well to the Oxilyplatin before, but that's the one that causes neuropathy and I am not too eager to go back on that one. We'll just have to see what the scan shows.

My disability claim was denied so I am looking into appealing it. Apparently I needed to be working 40 hours a week and not 30-35. Didn't know that. We'll see how that goes. I understand getting disability has gotten to be very difficult. Too bad for the folks out there that really need it.

So, tomorrow is my 53rd birthday. Wow, it sounds old and then young at the same time. Depends on what you're comparing it to, I suppose. I am glad to see the sun today and they say more tomorrow, so I will plan to soak some in as much as I can.

I will let you know the scan results, probably early next week.

Have a good week
Jane

January 6

Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties. - Spurgeon

Nice to see snow today! I love how the white blankets everything. It feels so peaceful.

We were able to get away for a couple of days this week with the kids over to the coast. It was good to get away and have a change of scenery for a bit. Though it was extremely stormy, we had a fun time, lots of laughs (usually during meals). This reiterated to me the importance of sharing meals together around the table, not something we take time to do alot as everyone seems to be on different schedules.

Things are moving along. Treatment hasn't been too bad except that the mouth sores came back this week. This makes talking and eating laborious and things don't taste the same as normal. But, I do manage to get the food down and the words out! I've been a little tired and have to remember to pace myself.

The kids are doing well at this time. We talk openly about things and I think this is healthy. Doug is working hard and it has been a struggle on him physically. Please pray for his stamina, both emotional and physical, and that perhaps another less physically demanding position will open up at the hospital. We do need the insurance!!

So two more treatments, next one (#5) is Wednesday the 9th. After the 6th treatment on the 23rd, I'll more than likely have a PET scan the following Friday, Feb. 1. Please pray for these next two treatments, that I can tolerate them well, and that they are doing their job.

I'm just taking things day to day, trying not to look too far ahead, but at the same time, prepare for possible scenarios that may present themselves in the next several weeks. Should I be eligible for the IPHC surgery I would think this would take place relatively soon. One thing is that my son Daniel turns 18 on Feb. 9, and Amy turns 16 on Feb. 29 (leap year baby!). I sure don't want to miss those birthdays. But we'll have to wait and see how the logistics play out.

Your continued prayers and thoughts are always welcomed. I have to say again that we simply could not do this without all the help and support that has been poured out to us from family and dear friends. Everyone has been just amazing!

May the Lord bless your 2008! Take care of yourselves, get your check-ups, eat well, and take time for time outs.

Love to all,
Jane

December 18

Hello all,

I was able to get down to California earlier this month (between treatments) to see my family. It was one of the best visits I've had down there. We managed to get most of the family together for dinner one night (there were 32 of us. We took up 2/3 of the restaurant and that did not include all of us!) One of my nephew's took me Christmas light sightseeing in a part of town where every house is decked out with lights. It was just a very pleasant time. Everyone was so glad to see me, some asked if I would move back down there. Of course, that is not going to happen, but it's hard for them to be so far away from me as they all want to help and be near. And I too, wish we could be closer.

I have a wonderful family – blood relations, by marriage, and my church family. Because of the tremendous support we are receiving here, I was able to reassure my California family that I am being well taken care of. This comes as great relief to them, and they have been amazed at the generosity of all that are helping us.

I had treatment #3 the day after I got back on the 12th and will have #4 on the 26th. Side effects are not too bad except that I'm beginning to get mouth sores again and having intermittent tummy aches, so am trying to stay on top of that. Of course, energy level is down some but thankfully I am able to get rest.

These days I have a heightened awareness of each day and appreciation of what it contains. I'm noticing small pleasures – walking outside and taking in a deep breath of fresh air, dew dripping off the trees, listening to the rain, playing with our puppy. A couple of weeks ago while it was raining, I looked out the window and the sun was out too! And that's how life is right now. The sun is shining right along in the darkness. Blessings abound in the midst of trial. How can I be anything but thankful to a God that He alone can create such a paradox? I have been reassured that all will be taken care of, no matter what. And this brings me peace.

I wish for all a very blessed Christmas season and wonderful times with your families.

Thanks for prayers. Keep 'em coming! Lord bless you all!
Jane

November 14

Well friends, things have moved fast since the last blog update.

I am sorry to report that the PET scan did indeed show cancer activity. It is showing in several areas in my abdomen, at the initial site, as well as spots around my liver, which is hard to say the depth of them from the scan alone. This, of course explains why I've been feeling the way I have. Even though my blood work still looked good, it's obvious that the CEA level will not be an accurate guage. He told me all along that it can be an ambiguous number.

I found out Monday evening. Doug and I went to see Dr. Neville yesterday. He had me start chemo today. One bright spot is that I won't have the drug that causes neuropathy and the cold sensitivity. That was the most irritating side effect last time. They are replacing it with a different one, which comes with it's own side effects which I hope will be more manageable than dealing with neuropathy.

The current plan is that I have 4-6 treatments (2 week intervals) then another scan. If it goes back into remission I will more than likely do the IPHC surgery we were going to do last May. We've already contacted the doc up there and he concurs that we do chemo first and get it in remission. My being a candidate for this surgey will be particularly dependent on the cancer not being in any other organs. Only the liver appears to be involved at this point.

For those who forgot what IPHC is, it stands for Intra-Peritoneal Hyperthermic (heated) Chemotherapy. So they go in, cut out any remaining cancer that's visible, then flood the abdominal cavity with heated chemotherapy, which is supposed to kill cancer cells better than the room temperature stuff. But, we're a ways off from that decision. If you really want to know about the surgery, just type in IPHC and you can wade through the webpages.

Please pray for peace in my spirit. I've been so distraught. Also, for my family, kids. It's hit everyone pretty hard. I have to say that I can already feel the strength in your prayers. I woke up this morning not with dread, but with a sense of resolve to do whatever it's going to take to prolong my life. The treatment went well today. My blood pressure stayed down, and thus far I'm feeling ok.

I want you to know how valuable and powerful prayer is! I'm more and more being blown away by God's love that is pouring through you, dear ones. You have truly been His hands.

We will keep you posted. If not before Thanksgiving, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with your families. Savor these moments. Make them unforgettable.

Jane

November 10

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Serenity Prayer



Hi to all,

Well, it's been a while. I had a great October. My sister-in-laws were kind enough to treat me to a 4 day cruise to British Columbia! We had a great time. The highlight for me was whale watching and saw many orcas, even some dolphins! Doug and I had some great motorcycle rides too, but haven't been out for a few weeks now.

As life has it's many demands on us, I am finding it's taking pretty much all my energy to just get to work and keep up with the house. With Doug as a full-time student now, I am currently the main breadwinner in the family, which is stressing me. The better I was feeling, the more I was working. Things were going OK but then I started feeling not too tip top these past few weeks. I realized that I was pushing myself again. I came home from work this week with rather severe stomach pains. The doc thinks it's acid reflux or something like that, and is treating it as such, but I was unable to work for the rest of the week, and that stressed me out again!

I requested an early PET scan (were going to do one in December). So I had one yesterday (Friday) and should know the results by mid-week. My blood tests still look good. The CEA level went up some (2.5 - it was 1.9) but is still in the normal range. The doc said it can fluctuate alot at these low levels.

Doug and I both realize that I am still in a healing process, and the future of my health is too uncertain at this time to bank on my being able to work enough to 'make the rent' and carry the health insurance. We are reevaluating the practicality of him staying in the nursing program versus him quitting the program and getting a job, or deciding if we can survive on him having a part time job and stay in school. I really don't want him to quit, he's come so far. And the Trade Act is paying for his schooling. Should he decide to return to nursing school at a later time, we'd have to cover the costs ourselves. The other key will be if he can find a job that pays well enough to cover what I can't, and one that will allow him to stay in this area. In all honesty, we have both been depressed and confused.

God has provided thus far through many generous friends and family members. But the question of what the 'right' thing to do is still rolls around our heads. And I wonder if we're not trusting enough or if indeed, we are being led in another direction and need to go that way for a time.

I want to trust that when it's time to make that decision, we'll have more direction.

We would sure appreciate your prayers as we travel through this phase. I will let you know next week what the scan shows.

Jane

October 4

Quote for the day:
"Don't think about it so much." -found on the inside of a Dove chocolate wrapper).


I had my monthly blood check on Monday, and my two month doctor visit yesterday. Everything still looks real good, in fact, the CEA level is even lower - 1.9!!! So, this is very encouraging and gives me yet another respite and something to be very thankful for. The neuropathy is still with me and may be something I need to get used to for the duration.

Doug has started school and so far is doing well. This means, though, that he is not working at this time. Finances are tight to say the least. We will re-evaluate after this school term as to if he needs to work a weekend shift. I am working pretty much full time for now.

So, things are good and moving along, intermixed with some very big challenges. I believe one of the lessons I am in the process of learning is how to live in the 11th hour, one day at a time, no worries about tomorrow. This is difficult for someone who really likes all her ducks in a row!! I've forgotten these last couple of weeks that God is in control and is bigger than any problem I can come to Him with, but through a series of events, He's showing me, once again, that He is in the big AND the small things. So, this is a lesson that I hope to grab hold of soon! I need to keep looking to Him and not to the circumstances.

Thank you for continued prayers. They really, really do make a huge difference.
Any thoughts are welcomed.

Jane